15 June 2011

Disclaimers and Lists

Wow, thank you, everyone, for your response to that last post! As soon as I had finished it, I started thinking of addendums and clarifications--not wanting to give the idea that I dislike Spain or being here. The thing I dislike--whether I were here or Namibia or Colorado--is the feeling stupid part. It's like saying that you love your husband but get frustrated with marriage. (Why am I using all these marriage metaphors? I have no idea. Dear personal yentas: if you are reading this, I am not hiding things from you.)

There's one more thing I have known before but really, really understood as I was writing everything down the other day. I'm going to tell you briefly and then get on with it, and I'm not even sure this is necessary to explain, except that, hey, I have a blog, so why not? (Well, there are many reasons why not. What a terrible philosophy.)  Those of you who pray can pray about this. Those of you who relate can commiserate with it. And those of you who don't fit into either category can be just be thankful that you have your own brain and not mine!

Confession: my brain works overtime to create unnecessary anxiety, causing me to view life with an intensified butterfly effect. While all logical senses (and seasoned missionaries) are telling me to take it day-by-day, my brain can't grasp that concept. If my body did the thorough calisthenics that my brain goes through every day, I would be better conditioned than an Olympic gymnast. (Shannon Miller? Dominique Dawes? Any other little girls who pretended to walk the balance beam back in 1996?) It runs ahead to 2013 and tries to figure out whether I should stay longer or go home. It thinks about renewing paperwork before I've handed any in. I sometimes shy away from doing things because the details are so overwhelming (which is like giving up a free island vacation because someone might put poison in the martini. And I don't even drink martinis.). I should probably go to a counselor or something, but hey, I wouldn't be able to understand them anyway! (I feel like I can laugh about that today. :)

Anyway, since it's not likely I'll be getting a new brain any time soon, I'm praying that this one will eventually be transformed. In the meantime, a pictoral tribute to Spain (just in case you weren't convinced that I like it here), including some of my favorite things so far:

Fountains, fountains everywhere you look

Spanish sun, warm and bright, transforming my skin from its Scandinavian pallor to the shade of a slightly toasted marshmallow

Finding Egyptian temples in the middle of Madrid, and hearing all manner of languages as you walk around them

La Padriza: mountains and waterfalls and, yes, European sun-seekers

The bear in Puerta del Sol, forever plucking strawberries from the strawberry tree

The Metro--and the pleasant music played on public transportation. Heck, just the music played anywhere. (Thanks, street performers, for giving your city a soundtrack!)

Knowing that a pocketful of Euro coins is substantial enough to pay a bill

The crosswalk men: the red one looks like Mr. Incredible, and the green one has incredibly long strides

Last, but certainly not least: all the handsome Spanish men!


Aaron R. said...

Is that Don Quixote?

sharbear said...

Absolutely. Isn't he dashing?!

ella peterson said...

Shar I will most definitely be praying for you!