17 March 2013

Student Quotes, Volume I-Can't-Remember-Anymore

Well, folks, it's that time again. Time to write something big and meaningful? Ah, yes, I wish. As it is, we just finished the third quarter, and I'm still beating myself up for having written nothing much in the first two quarters. Not only have I fallen off the bandwagon, the horses tromped on my inner organs and I have dirt in the wounds. Hmm, that sounds horrible. Actually, things are going really well, thanks for asking. The real problem is that I leave my computer at school every night (so I won't get sucked into this other real problem called facebook). It's great for my outer life but not so great for my writing one. All that to say, I need to go to bed. But I think you'll enjoy these.

Boy 1: (to me, out of the blue) "One day you'll have a boyfriend who will be really good to you."
Boy 2: "Not like us!"

Me: "Why were you late?"
Boy: "It's just...they were chasing me!"
Me: "Who, the girls?"
Boy: "I wish!"

During a discussion of the root "mal"
 Me: "So, anyone want to guess what malady means?"
Girl: "It's a man without a lady!"

As a boy sat distracted by the back of his pop can
Me: "I need you to pay attention."
Boy: "Sorry, Ms. C, it's just that I haven't seen a nutrition label in so long."

(Note: Principe Azul, or "Blue Prince," is the Spanish version of a white knight)
 Boy: "Ms. C, do you like anyone?"
Me: "Um, not at the moment, no."
Boy: "It's okay, Ms. C. One day you'll find your blue prince, like the genie from Aladdin, and you'll have blue babies."

Boy 1: "What are you laughing about?"
Boy 2: "You have to read the book to find out." (It's Twilight.)
Boy 1: "I'm not gonna read three fat books about girls!"

Boy: (attempting to ask, "You have a water bottle?") "You got a boddawadda?!"

Me: "Why are you standing up?"
Boy: "What? I don't know! What are my legs doing?!"

Boy 1: (pointing to classmate) "He looks different today. He looks like...Steve Irwin."
Boy 2: "Crikey! I'm Steve Irwin! I'm gonna jump on a crocodile!" (proceeds to faceplant in a beanbag chair)

Boy: "You have a very acoustic bottom."

Boy: (jokingly, after paying €.50 to retrieve a lost-and-found item) "You're not my mom."
Me: "What? I'm not? I need some time to get over this."
Boy: "What are you gonna do with that fifty cents?"
Me: "Hey, if you're not my son, don't talk to me."
Boy: "Okay, you're my son. Wait..."

Boy 1: "I don't want to do cooking class!"
Boy 2: "You have to know how! How are you going to make meals for your wi...girlfriend?"

Me: (after halting an extended giggle session about crushes) "You look very nice in that dress."
Girl: "Just trying to impress, you know."

Girl: "Can I borrow your scissors? I don't want to use my delicate hand."

Girl: "Can we go to Ms. D's room and pet the first-graders 'cause they're just so cute?"

But this final one is perhaps my favorite:

Me: "Why were you late to class?"
Boy: "I was reenacting the Titanic."

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