8th grader, before Christmas break
Him: "Do I need to keep these papers?"
Me: "Well, not unless you really want to."
"But I don't need them for the final, right?"
"Nope. Your project is your final."
"I'm gonna burn them!"
"You're going to make a Christmas bonfire with your papers?"
"Yes! They will warm me!"
"Ah, first they warmed your brain, and now they'll warm your body."
He pauses. "I'm not so sure about that first one."
A few minutes pass. He returns.
"Am I going to need this?" He holds up a book report book cover.
"Well, are you the kind of person who likes to hang onto things for memories?"
Thoughtful pause. "You know, in a few years, this could be worth a couple million."
Same Boy: "I don't know what to write about. I don't know what the author was trying to say."
Me: "Well, pick on aspect of what she's talking about. Like Sameness. What are some problems that might occur if everyone was the same? Imagine if every boy in this school had the same name as you, looked exactly the same as you."
Boy: "It'd be a good-looking school!"
After I mentioned that I couldn't leave them unsupervised in origami class
Boy 1: "It's okay, Ms. Carlson. You can leave, and we'll just fold."
Leprechaun: "Each other!"
When a hundred unattached grammar pages fell out of my book
Leprechaun: "These books are really old!"
Me: "They're not so old. They're only from...1990."
Leprechaun: "Our textbook is 21! It could get married if it found a nice vocab book!"
During a particularly hungry morning
Boy 1: "We should put a huge bookshelf in here--to put food on!"
Leprechaun: "A fridge?"
As I walked up the stairs, holding a piece of cake from another staff member's birthday surprise
Boy 1: "It's your birthday?"
Leprechaun: "Happy birthday! He'll give you a hug, and I'll hold your cake!"
As I explained that their usernames for the bibliography-generating site should probably just be their first and last names, so they're easier to remember
Leprechaun: "Can I be prettypinkprincess?"
Boy: "Can I be handsomeunicorn?!"